My Dinner Date With PM Modi: Chai, Pakoras & Politics
Disclaimer: This article is a piece of satire. None of these things have obviously ever happened. Please don’t burn my home.
It isn’t everyday that you get to go out to dinner with Narendra Modi, the Prime Minister of our great country. So I decided to wear my special tweed jacket – you have to look good. And of course, we couldn’t go out to any restaurant of my choosing. You might not know, but the PM actually has quite an extensive security detail. So we met at 7 Race Course, and here is what I learnt at my dinner with PM Narendra Modi.
1. The PM lives at 5 Race Course Road and not 7 Race Course Road like his predecessors. He’s a hipster.
2. Also, it’s not Race Course anymore. It’s now called Lok Kalyan Marg because the prestigious office of the PM cannot be associated with something as horrible and degrading as horse racing.
3. The complex houses 5 bungalows over 12 acres, where the PM occasionally enjoys a good game of hide and seek with his friend Arvind Kejriwal.
4. The dining room of the Prime Minister’s residence is lined with pictures of previous Prime Ministers (not from the Congress).
5. Mr. Modi actually doesn’t care much for chai.
6. If you want to have tea in the PM’s residence, he insists you serve it to him and not the other way around.
7. Chai is served with a host of Gujarati snacks and pakoras, which he adores.
8. Mr. Modi’s secret love for pakoras is so strong that he has in his employ a pakorewala who earns over Rs. 50,000 a month.
9. The first course is always Narendra Modi’s Favourite Dish – khichadi.
10. He loves his khichadi with dahi.
11. Mr. Modi doesn’t appreciate you making suggestions to his menu.
12. He also doesn’t appreciate you asking if the chef can whip up some beef steak.
13. Or fried “lotus” stem.
14. The second course is also khichadi.
15. Usually there is a glass full of petrol next to the diner. Not for drinking, but just because you need to know your place.
16. For dessert, there are Ram Laddoos. Not the most traditional of desserts, but certainly the most appropriate.
17. Also, Mr. Modi doesn’t encourage talking politics on the table. Come to think of it, he’s a bit like my dad in certain ways.
All in all, my dinner date with Narendra Modi was a great success. He was kind, courteous and upstanding. Right till the moment when I tried to get him to wear some of my specially made Nehru caps to get into the spirit of things. I was escorted out of the premises soon after.