Make Me A Sandwich: 7 Reasons Why Bachelors Fail In Kitchens Every Single Time

There are so many funny kitchen facts about Indian bachelors that it will make you nod your head in agreement. Believe it or not, the best of the chefs we know are men. But when it comes to everyday cooking, barely 10% of the Indian male population under the age of 25 will pass a cooking test (if there was any such thing).The millennial crowd just doesn’t know how to cook and I am not trying to be sexist, I am sure there are girls in the category of “not being able to cook as well”. But when you come across memes like “Make me a sandwich”, you have to give it back to them, hard.

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Our Take On The Sandwich Joke

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The reason it’s always a sandwich and not any other dish is probably because that’s the only meal most guys are capable of cooking on their own! Funnily enough, even a kid can make it. Guys might be good with apps and directions on the road but most of them pretty much suck at following directions in the kitchen. Yes, these are generalisations, but we all know that one person who fits the bill. And this is directed to them! Here’s a list of the stupidest mistakes and annoying things bachelors do when they try cooking for the first time:

1. Crybabies

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So guys turn into babies when they are in the kitchen. From getting a cut while chopping to rubbing their eyes with the same hand they used to sprinkle chillies. They do it all! It’s funny to watch because it’s very silly. Who doesn’t know that they can’t touch chilly and then touch their eyes…I mean…??

2. Slow & Unsteady

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Call me a annoying if you like, but I just can’t stand my boyfriend in the kitchen at the same time as I am cooking. He slows me down stupendously. So every time he volunteers to help me cook, I ask him to stick to chopping (Which he does fairly well). But even then, I don’t understand how someone can take half an hour to peel three cloves of garlic?!

3. Pressure Cooker Psychopath

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Most guys who are new to cooking, just don’t know how to use a pressure cooker! So if you ask them to boil potatoes, they will probably do it in a deep pan filled to the brim with water. But what is the worst thing you can imagine? The thing about pressure cooker is that you have to release the pressure before you can open the lid. But obviously guys have to make it all about the strength and BOOM! And with a big blast the chicken is on the roof!

4. Bean There Done That

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I could never imagine it on my own, even the possibility of it. I find guys cutting one bean at a time for their meals and it just makes me want to pull their cheeks and say “awww”. I mean do we really have to tell you that beans can be clubbed together to chop them faster?

5. Saltier Than The Sea

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Maggi is easy, because you don’t have to measure anything but water. But make it dal, chicken or anything that needs you to measure salt, chances are you will get a high blood pressure post the meal. The measurement of salt and powdered spices is a tough nut to crack for guys who are cooking for the first time.

6. The Burning Man

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Now, coming to frying. This is another challenge. The thing about frying (take a note guys), is that you have to make sure that there is no moisture in the oil and that it’s hot before you put anything in. Or else, the oil will splutter all over you and that would hurt for days. We don’t want that do we?

7. “But Mom, What’s Dalchini?”

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 So there are days when a guy will finally decide to learn how to cook and enter the kitchen with an online recipe. Only to realise that he has no clue about what the spices and condiments actually look like. That’s when the moms and girlfriends get those descriptive calls. 

Featured Photo Courtesy Of: Pixabay

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